The Christian Church Has Abdicated It’s Role As the Center of the Community…BECAUSE!

By Wanda Parker

There are many reasons the church has abdicated it’s role!

One of the greatest reasons is that we have lost our passion for Christ.  We have lost our first love.  We have become more centered on ourselves than on God.  This isn’t true world wide.  Where there is persecution, where life is truly difficult there is much more passion amongst believers than there is in America.

Because life has become all about ME… I don’t have the time, energy, desire, money to be available to meet the needs of others.

Inorder for the church to regain it’s role as the center of the community the individuals that comprise the church must become involved in the needs in their community. 

• They will need to give more financially to the church
• They will need to set aside more time to volunteer
• They will need to be willing to experience the emotional pain of being involved in other’s pain
• They will need to be willing to give up doing something they want to do because they are spending time with an at-risk kid
• They will need to be willing to open their homes to strangers
• The list could be endless but you get the idea.

I truly believe we are capable of doing this if we return to our first love – Jesus Christ.  If we seek Him and allow Him to transform us from within. 

Not only are we capable of again making the Church the center of the community - WE MUST!  If we truly love Jesus Christ –  WE WILL!

What will be your first step to move from your place of comfort? 

Why Has The Christian Church Abdicated It’s Role As the Center of the Community

By Wanda Parker

The Christian Church has abdicated it’s role as the center of the community.

My definition of Christian Church is a group of people who believe that the Bible is the ultimate truth and they are fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ..

There was a time when true ”Christians” were much more involved in the lives of those who lived around them.  I can remember going with out a new outfit (my one of the season) because my mother had given the money designated for that outfit to someone who had less than we did.  I remember adults in our church spending time with an adult to bring him to sobriety.  I remember that when there was a need in the community people knew they could find help from those in our church.

The church cared for the needy – not the government!

Today the needs are so much greater but it seems fewer Christians are involved with the needs around them.  Why?

“There is no greater love than one lays down his life for another.”  My paraphrase

Finding ways around the reasons and the excuses is part of laying down our lives. 

I’d love to hear what you think the reasons are. 

I’ll let you know my thoughts Wed.

Church Based After School – Is It Worth It All?

By Wanda Parker 

Are the hours with a bunch of hyped up kids everday worth it?

Is having to help a mom delice her home worth it?

Is it worth having to delice your own home because you discovered you and your daughter got the lice from the child? Also having to let 12 other moms know their children have lice too.

Is it worth having to climb out of bed in the middle of the night to assist a family in crisis?

Is it worth having a parent yell at you and then because you just stand there and take it she goes from anger to remorse and you must comfort her.

Is it worth going to bed in tears because you can’t seem to get through the anger of a hurting teen.

Is it worth having to help a teen clean a filty (bird poop all over, rat droppings every where) apartment she shares with her dad?

The list is endless…

It was a normal afternoon, a normal one-on-one tutoring time.

The assignement was for the child to write an essay.  He wrote for a while and then looked up at his Secondary-Nurturer and said, “I’m afraid of dying.”

Though shocked by this sudden outburst she responded, “Why?”

“Because I keep having dreams that I am in hell.” he said.

She asked if he would like to know how he could be assured he wouldn’t go to hell and he said yes.  So she used a small track, “God Loves You,” which explains what Jesus has done for each of us – if we are willing to submit our lives to Him.  The sixth grader said he wanted to do this.  The Secondary-Nurturer talked with him about this not being a magic prayer, that it is dependent on his truly meaning it.  They prayed together.

YES IT IS WORTH IT ALL!!!

Heath Ledger Dies

By Wanda Parker

Last night as I drove home from a center the only thing being talked about on the radio was the death of Heath Ledger.  This young man seemed to have everything – money, fame, a beautiful daughter, and as one commentator said, any woman he wanted.

Yet he is gone.  Most likely due to an overdose of drugs.

What drove him to the drugs?  One quote I heard was that he had recently said that he didn’t have to go on living because he is leaving himself behind in his daughter.  Again, we see so called adults more concerned about themselves than about the children for whom they are responsible.  I wonder how his daughter is going to feel when she is 18 and has heard/read this statement over and over.  Will she think, “I am only here to keep my father’s name alive, but he didn’t love me enough to walk through the pain of life with me.”

She is an at-risk kid!  Perhaps her father was too. 

I can’t help but remember the laughter of the kids I was with last night.  It brings a smile to my face.  As they spoke of God’s love for them there was a peace.  I sat back amazed as the Director asked questions and interacted with them.  I was amazed at their faith, their knowledge, their desire to know Almighty God – Jesus. These kids live in circumstances that many of you would think is hopeless – but they have hope.

They went through an exercise where two foods were put on the table.  They were told they could eat the cookies, but to them the best was the cornnuts and they were told they weren’t to eat them.  The cornnuts were just for the adults.  There was a volunteer who tempted the kids and told them they could eat the cornnuts.  All but two boys said, “No, our leaders told us no.” Then they read Genesis 3, the story of Adam and Eve tempted by Satan and their fall.  The kids were getting it.  ”That just happened to us,” they said.  They were challenged to think about all the ways they may be tempted to make the wrong choices. They talked about who might try to tempt them – friends, relatives, sometimes even parents.

Heath Ledger needed strong supportive adults to walk-through-life with him.  He needed adults who knew how to think critically and teach him how to deal with the pains of life.  He needed to know how much Jesus Christ loved him and would have given him peace if he would have just submitted to Him. 

Christian After-School Programs: Getting Results

By Wanda Parker

It is possible to get long lasting results when working with at-risk kids.  Is there anything more rewarding than to see a child’s life, not just the child’s but the entire family’s life, turned around.  To see a family move out of the at-risk category – wow!

It won’t happen with the snap of your fingers.  It won’t happen with a drop-in after-school program.  It won’t happen by running a Bible Club.

Long lasting transformation for at-risk families takes time, consistency, intentionality, persistence, godly love, high expectations, prayer.

TIME: it takes an adult willing to be available to the family 24/7.  A single mom awakens in the middle of the night to a tragedy in her home – can she call you for help?

CONSISTENCY: Yes you need boundaries for your own life but do the families with whom you are working know that the times you commit to be available you will always be there?  Do they know that when you set limits or for the kids, discipline lines, that you will hold to them.

INTENTIONALITY: just as you plan and dream for your own family you get involved with the primary nurturers to plan and dream.  Most of them are barely making it from day to day; they don’t have the energy to dream, to plan.  You bring them that energy.  You don’t do anything without thinking it through critically to make sure the result will be what is best for the family – not you.

PERSISTENCE: there will be many a day when you just want to give up.  YOU WON’T!

GODLY LOVE: godly love is different from human love in that He is willing to take us through painful, difficult times to get us to the best place.  Human love all too often tries to protect and in the end causes more pain. (For further insight on this read White Papers on Secondary Nurturers and Competiton – A Tool For Emotional Development)

HIGH EXPECTATIONS: expect there to be change, expect that those with whom you serve are just as capable as you but haven’t had the opportunities.  Don’t settle for mediocrity. Expect to be challenged every step of the way – but don’t give up those high expectations.

PRAYER: turn your self-talk into talking to Jesus.  Keep a running dialogue with him throughout the day.  Have prayer warriors to whom you can send regular e-mail updates.  Find prayer warriors for each family.

Oh there is so much more! Read back through this blog and you will find more detailed things that lead to long lasting results when working with at-risk kids.

If you are a worn out servant working with at-risk kids don’t hesitate to contact us – You Can Do It!  We want to encourage you.

Christian After-School Programs: Why Just Activity?

By Wanda Parker

Why do Christian ministries end up just doing activity rather than truly helping children and teens to move from their at-risk status?

In Monday’s post I mentioned three large ministries who have each been doing ministry with at-risk kids for more than 30 years; each ministry admitted to me that they had few results to show for their 30 years.  These are large ministries with large facilities to maintain, but minimum-low-paid-staff.

When ever I share the intense youth development model which involves working with the whole child and intentionally involved in the family I hear the same lament, “But but what about our donors?  We can’t do what you are suggesting because we would have to work with fewer kids and our donors want to hear that we are working with large numbers of kids.”

“But what kind of results are you getting?”  I ask. Over and over I will get a sheepish response that there isn’t much lasting change in their kids.

So basically the donors are throwing their money away – they might as well burn it.

It is our job to educate the donor!

Don’t compromise your ministry for the all-mighty-dollar.  Don’t turn your back on the real needs of the kids because you are afraid to educate your donors, or you aren’t willing to put in the effort to do it. 

Today’s research is showing that most mentoring programs are failing.  Yes there may be immediate results, like grades improving, but these changes are not long lasting.  Look up Bonnie Benard, Dr. David DuBois, and Emmy E. Werner, study their research.

Research shows that kids need intentional, long-lasting relationship with emotionally healthy, critical-thinking, energetic adults.  For at-risk kids this means they need a Secondary Nurturer  (check out the White Paper)in their lives.

I believe it is possible for us to also meet the WANTS of our donors and the NEEDS of the kids – you just have to be creative.  KidTrek is working with ministries who are doing just that. 

Do you need to rethink how you are doing ministry?  Are you a donor who needs to rethink what you demand of ministries you support?

Christian After-School Programs: Results or Just Activity?

By Wanda Parker 

   There are thousands of Christian After-School programs across America.   The question that isn’t often asked is what kind of LASTING results are they getting?

Jeremiah 17:10
“I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind,
Even to give to each man according to his ways. 
According to the results of his deeds.”

What a challenge for those of us who believe the Bible to be the Word of God.  A challenge to not just get caught up in activity but to make sure our activity is producing results. 

Dr. David Dubois, author of ”Handbook of Youth Mentoring” cautioned that many faith-based organizations have good intentions but lack professional expertise about children’s developmental and mental health. 

A couple of years ago I was approached at different times by three large Christian after-school programs across America, each one had the same story.  “We have been in ministry for thirty years and sadly today we have few results to show for it.  Can you help us?” 

 When I told them I could and laid out what they needed to do they said that was impossible.  IMAGINE - each of these three ministries have been working with at-risk kids for over thirty years – and they have few lasting results to show for it.

What does an INVISIBLE AT-RISK CHILD IN AMERICA need from an after-school program to make a LASTING difference in his life?

• An adult trained to work with at-risk kids who is committed long-term to the child
  • This same adult:
    • Building a “friend” relationship with his primary nurturers.
    • Meeting with his teacher a minimum of once a month.
    • Building a relationship with social service professionals involved in the kid’s life.
    • Being at the after-school center everday the center is open.
    • Is trained to tutor, challenge, encourage, hold the kid accountable before he begins working with kid. 

Wednesday I’ll share why these three ministries wouldn’t do what I suggested, as well as why the the kids need this tough kind of love.

Technology and Critical Thinking: Do they mix?

by Joseph Parker

I love technology.

In fact I enjoy it so much it drives my wife quite crazy at times.

It is so much fun to play and learn and explore things that are innovative and involve taking me places I have never been.

I think that is one of the most alluring things about technology for most people…especially children.

But does it mean we should jump in and use technology as the sole resource for educating our children?

I recently read an article on a new experimental school that does everything using technology for project-based learning, verses the more traditional subject-based; see full article here.

Here is a small excerpt on some of the concerns that I whole-heartedly agree with:

“Some academic experts have said that too much reliance on technology can detract from teaching critical-thinking skills, and that students depend on computers too much, instead of thinking things through and doing the work themselves.

“Students are far too reliant on technology,” says J. Andreas Lippert, associate professor of chemistry at Weber State University. “For example, I’ve noticed that they can’t spell anymore because they always use the spell checker, which often results in incorrect word usage such as the difference between pulsar and pulser.”

Lippert adds that students’ reading capacity is also diminished because they scan everything so quickly; they don’t retain anything they read. And worse, plagiarism is running rampant, because they copy and paste information directly off the Internet onto their papers, assuming that if it’s on the Internet, it’s free to use (as in public domain).”

In our new white paper, Competition: A Tool for Emotional Development (click here to read), Wanda discusses the need for teaching children important life skills through the use of competition.

In a quote from the paper Wanda says,

“A child can learn how to use a computer at a fairly young age, but the judgment needed to discern the best use of the computer takes time. This judgment requires adults who are productive, empathetic and wise to guide the child through real life experiences.”

I love technology, but to use it as the sole medium of teaching our children concerns me.

Kids will not really learn anything except that they have a “crutch” they can always turn to for answers. There will be no real skills gained, but how to push a few keypad buttons that will always give them the answers.

If we go down this road I fear we will actually do more harm to our children than good.

Again, I am not saying technology in and of itself is bad…but we must be wise in how we use it; especially in the education and upbringing of our children!

Are We Making “Monsters” of America’s Invisible Children?

by Joseph Parker

In todays edition of Chuck Colson’s e-newsletter, BreakPoint, Mr. Colson addresses the tough issue around Major League Baseball’s scandal caused by the Mitchell Report.

But what I love about Chuck Colson is that he doesn’t beat around the bush…he tells it as it is…and in this article tells us we need to stop looking at professional athletes, and take a look at ourselves.

That this is not just an issue of athletes “cheating,” but an issue related to our own desires; thereby propagating the attitudes and actions which follow.

Have you read Wanda’s post on Competition: A Tool, Not a Vise, in Nurturing Children she posted the other day yet?

If not, I invite you to visit this post where she gives you a link to a new white paper we have just published on our website.

In this paper KidTrek is not talking about the effect of drugs on kids in sports, but rather the positive effects of competition when used in a good way, verses the common negative manner it is so often used.

So many of America’s Invisible Children are not being raised by parents (or even adults outside of their home) to think critically and deal with life’s tough and difficult circumstances that will be thrown at them.

So that by the time they are 20, 30, 40, or even 50 years old they do not know how to properly deal with losing, or winning for that matter.

If we TRULY want to see kids grow to become productive adults, we must stop feeding OUR needs, as adults, that were not met when we were kids.

Competition, when used properly, can be a fantastic tool to teach kids good life skills, particularly as it relates to dealing with the difficulties they will face throughout their life.

But that tool is QUICKLY manipulated and destroyed when we ourselves do not know how to deal with competition in a healthy and productive manner.

What is your bottom line goal when playing a game with a child? What is your focus?

To win?

Or, to teach life skills that will help them grow into mature, productive adults?

Read the Colson article here, read our white paper…then come back and let us know what you think.

We value your input, thoughts and ideas on this topic!

Competition, A Tool, Not A Vise, In Nurturing Children

By Wanda Parker

What do you think of using competition as a tool in nurturing children?

We have just posted a “White Paper” at our website http://www.kidtrek.org/white/ which explains KidTrek’s position on using competition as a tool in nurturning children.  When you get to the website scroll down the page and click on the link ”Competition: A Tool For Emotional Development.  You may print the paper to share with others if you like.

After reading the paper please come back to the Blog and let us know what you think.

If you haven’t been to our website before “take a walk through” and discover KidTrek’s vision/passion for at-risk kids. 

Yes, the picture at the top of the web page is of me many years ago when I lived and served in a migrant  labor camp in Texas.  The other picture is my husband.  We met while serving as VISTA Volunteers in “Johnson’s War On Poverty.”