By Wanda Parker 

I was in the bedroom creating a seminar on the “Love One Another” passages in the Bible when my youngest daughter, who was then in kindergarten, came into the bedroom.  Dana was fixing herself lunch so she could go to her afternoon kindergarten class and asked me to open the peanut butter jar. 

My study had so absorbed me that I did not pay attention to her.  Each time she asked, I automatically answered, “Yes, honey,” or “Sure, in just a minute.” 

Finally, exasperated with her mother’s lack of concern for her needs, Dana took the peanut butter jar and whacked me on the back with it.  She got my attention! 

Though it hurt, I could not get angry, for the Lord impressed on my heart at the instant of contact with the jar that my study of love had not made me a loving, caring mother, attentive to the needs of my kids. 

During the last week of His life on earth Jesus gave His disciples a new commandment: 

“A new commandment I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  All men will know that you are My disciples if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 

We can do a lot of talking about love.  We can study the scriptures.  We can intellectually know the difference between agapë, philio, and eros love; however, everything is useless if it does not come alive within and through us. 

The way we treat the kids and our attitude toward them will speak louder than any words we utter. 

Relational ministry is taking the lid off the peanut butter jar the first time we are asked.  In doing so, we tell the kid he is valued; he is significant enough to interrupt what we are doing to meet his need.  As we do this, the kid learns that Jesus loves him unconditionally.  We may be the kid’s only link to Jesus.

America’s Invisible Children deserve the best ministry we can give them.  We must serve them not to make ourselves feel better but that they might know they are truly loved.  Then they will be open to meet He who loves them more than any human could - Jesus Christ.

KidTrek is passionate about ministering to America’s Invisible Children.  Some previous posts that might be of interest to you if you are not familiar with KidTrek are:

Americas Invisible Children Left Behind

After School Program-Making A Difference

Are Your or Your Church Staff Able?

By Wanda Parker

I was visiting a center when John, the Director, said, “I hope you don’t mind but I made an appointment for you to meet the principal at the school where all our kids attend.  I think she will be able to give you insight into how the center has truly helped the kids.”

We had a great visit and the principal had told me the changes she had seen in each of the kids and how amazed she was, “It isn’t just the grades that I am impressed with, it is the change in behavior.”

Suddenly she looked at John and said, “I sure am enjoying the Agape Class at the church.”

“The the what?” John questioned.  He was so shocked I thought I was going to need to pick him up off the floor.

“The Agape Class,” the principal continued. “When I saw the change in Josenique’s mom I knew I had to get to know the God who could do that.”

Josenique’s mom had been a prostitute and a drug addict when Josenique began attending the center.  Josenique submitted her life to Jesus and attended the church which sponsored the center.  She began to beg her mom to go to church too - her mom went, submitted her life to Jesus and was transformed.  She stopped doing drugs, she stopped prostituting herself, she got a job - she was transformed through the power of Jesus Christ.

The principal watched in the background all that happened.  She too wanted to experience this transforming power.  Key here is that no one ever spoke a word about Jesus to the principal, she merely observed.

 Josenique’s family was in crisis. KidTrek’s vision is that this will happen all across America as churches become intentionally involved in serving families in crisis. 

Would you like to be part of reaching families in crisis?  You can do so by joining with KidTrek in The Walk

Could Christ be calling you to serve families in crisis?  Click here

Is Christ calling you to financially support a “Missionary” who is on the front lines?  Click here

Are you a prayer warrior?  Would you like to pray regularly for KidTrek’s Mission to reach families in crisis across America?  Click here   To receive “The Walk” which will give you regular updates of how to be praying Click here

By Wanda Parker

Whenever you get a group of children together there is going to be need for discipline - not just discipline of the children, but the adults too.

All too often we have problems with children because we aren’t prepared, we haven’t thought through the day and imagined all the likely scenarios.  Yes there are times when we have done all we can and a kid acts out.  BUT - we should be prepared for that too.

In our KidTrek Training (click here to learn more of training) we challenge trainees to get to know each kid individually.  Each kid has different needs, different trigger points, different challenges at home over which s/he has no control.  For you to have a disciplined after school program you must know each kid as an individual. 

IT IS UP TO YOU!

Beyond knowing the kids, KidTrek Centers’ first line of discipline is what we call KidTrek Bucks.  It is a great tool for discipline but it teaches so much more. 

The kids have to pay for everything.  If they forgot a pencil they use their KidTrek Bucks to either rent a pencil for the day or pay a little more to purchase it.  They pay to go on field trips.  There is a store that has all sorts of fun things and necessary items.

At one center the kids asked if bread could be put in the store.  The director told me, “I live in this neighborhood and I didn’t realize there were kids who were hungry.”   Again know your kids and their families.

Paying for everything teaches the reality of life.  It teaches critical thinking as well as delayed gratification.

I was at a center one afternoon when the store was open.  The kids stood in line awaiting their turn to enter the store.  I was sitting to the side of the line with the director.  As Thomas walked up the director addressed him, “Hey Thomas have you bought your ticket to go to the snow next weekend?”

“No,”  came the almost whispered response.

“Well do you want to go to the snow?” the director asked.

“Yes,” hesitantly and again barely whispered.

“If you don’t buy your ticket today you won’t be able to go the snow with us.  You better get that ticket today.”  the director challenged.

“But, but I only have this amount of money and I’ve been saving to buy that erector set and I really really want it, if i buy the ticket I won’t have the money for the erector set,” Thomas rambled out without stopping.

“Okay, I understand,” the director said. “But let’s think this through.  If you buy the erector set today you can’t go to the snow; but what if you buy your ticket to go to the snow, how long will it take to earn enough money to get the erector set?”

There was silence for a moment as Thomas thought.  “Maybe a couple of weeks.”

“So see you can have both, even if it means you have to wait a while for the erector set.”

Thomas bought the ticket to the snow that day.  More importantly Thomas learned to think critically.  He learned that through delayed gratification in one area you can gain even more in the big scheme of things.

Each center has a complete banking system which includes checking accounts, each kid has his own check book, and savings accounts - with interest.  Some centers have Christmas saving accounts where the kids can earn a higher interest.  The kids are also taught to tithe their money.  The bucks they give as a tithe is then used to purchase something for a needy family, for a preschool, etc..

The KidTrek Bucks are treated like real money.  If it is lost or stolen it is not replaced - even if mom washes your pants and your money gets destroyed the bank does not replace it.  Thus responsibility is taught.  Kids learn to care for their money and how it is handled - it is rarely left just laying out on a table.

By Wanda Parker

We went to see Prince Caspian Saturday night and enjoyed it.  We, my husband and I, both think it is better than the first one.

But as I sat in the packed theater I was struck by  the subtle message of the movie.

When we try to move out ahead of God, Aslan, we will end in defeat.  We are dependent on His timing, His ways.  We also must seek Him and not be so proud to think we can do it on our own.

I needed that message as we go through the slow process to place missionaries in churches to minister to needs of families in crisis, to touch the lives of at-risk kids.  I get so impatient because with each day that passes kids grow older and more difficult to reach.

The movie Saturday night was another reminder - GOD KNOWS!

If you would like to JOIN THE WALK  click here

By Wanda Parker

What does the term Invisible Children mean to you?

What does No child left behind mean to you?

As someone who has worked with children and their families for more than forty years and as a Christian these terms became very real to me when I was in my early twenties.

I was living and working in a migrant labor camp in Texas - you can see pictures of myself and husband (who I met while serving there) by clicking here  We were VISTA (Volunteers In Service To America) Volunteers, part of President Johnson’s war on poverty.  I was just out of college and had such huge dreams of making a difference. 

Never will I forget the day that Lupe knocked on our door and asked if I would like to accompany her to court.  She was going to court with two boys, both 12 year olds. They had put bricks on the railroad track and derailed a train. Sure I thought, an afternoon to get out of the heat of the Texas sun and sit idly in the back of an air conditioned courtroom.  As we entered the court I sat in the last row while Lupe went to the front to be with the boys.

The judge came in and asked the two boys to stand in front of him.  Jessie wore a filthy, worn baseball cap. Mario stood with his head bowed and never looked at the judge. 

“Take that cap off!” the judge demanded in a gruff voice.

Mario and Jessie didn’t move.

“I told you to take that cap off!  Take it off now!.” the judge said more harshly.

Again, neither boy moved.

Shouting this time, “Did you hear me?  I told you to take that cap off!  Do so now!”

Again, neither boy moved.

“You, you sitting out there,” the judge shouted pointing at me.  “You’ve come into our small community thinking that you know everything.  You think that you can tell us how to run our community.  Well we’ll see.  We’ll see if you have all the answers or not!  I’m putting these two boys into your custody!.

He hit the bench with his gavel.  I sat there not able to move.  What had happened?  This was suppose to be an easy afternoon, a little time out of the heat.  Now at 21 I had custody of two twelve year olds.  What do you do with two boys who are about to become teenagers? Were they to live with us? 

As we drove back to the Labor Camp Lupe and I talked about the options available to me.  We decided it would be best for the boys to spend nights with their parents and spend days with us.  Joe and Ellen, my two roommates and fellow Vista Volunteers, had a good laugh as I explained what had happened -  that is until they realized how this impacted them too.

One of the first things we learned was that Jessie wouldn’t remove his cap because he had a scalp disease and his hair was all patchy.  Joe took him to town to pick out a new, clean cap.  A daily routine was making sure his head and cap were clean. 

We checked with the school to see how they were doing.  Because they were the children of migrant laborers and moved a lot the school was basically warehousing them.  We requested they be tested.  It took a little presuring but eventually the tests were administered.  Jessie had an IQ of 69, Mario’s was 48.

Jessie and Mario had no idea what the consequences would be when they placed those bricks on the railroad track.  They were merely having fun trying to balance the bricks.

For the next few months I worked hard with the school and their parents figuering out what would be best for them.  In the end we were able to get them enrolled in a residential school for mentally challenged children. 

I remember the day I took them to the school.  They were excited and I knew that they were going to receive training that would give them skills to function as adults on their own. 

As I drove out of the school grounds I had a sense of accomplishment, a sense I had done something good. 

Jessie and Mario were American invisible children - there was no one in their lives who cared enough or had the sophistication to get them the help they needed.  Little did the judge realize what a blessing it was for those boys when he placed them in my custody.

But as the years have passed I have often felt that those boys may have been left behind. 

Not once did I speak to them about Jesus. 

What did I truly give them if I gave them the whole world but they lose their souls?  Mark 8:36

That experience definitely has had a profound impact on the vision of KidTrek. Click here to go to KidTrek website.

 KIDTREK EQUIPS THE CHURCH TO REACH FAMILIES IN CRISIS.

Developing a partnership with local churches, KidTrek establishes youth programs to serve the community.

Through modeling, training, and coaching KidTrek equips adults to build intentional, long-term relationships with families in crisis.

Our goal is to see at-risk kids become Christ-changed, hope-filled, productive adults..

By Wanda Parker

Do you know children like this?  They may live closer to you than you realize!

 ______________________________________________________________________________________  

A sixth grader at a winter camp told her small group, “I wish I was an adult!  I hate being a kid!  I have no place to call my own.  One week I’m with my dad; the next week I’m with my mom.  I never know where I’ve left something.  I don’t really have a home.  Sometimes I think it would be better to be dead.”

 Children lost in a sea of despair – nine, ten, eleven-year-olds wishing they were dead.

By Wanda Parker

There are few adults in America who wouldn’t agree the education of our children is in dire straits.

One of the few times the Republicans and Democrats worked together was to set up “No Child Left Behind.”  And yet!!!!  Children are still being left behind.

Why?              I believe it is because we are always looking for easy answers.  

The government has set teachers up for failure.  Teachers are forced to teach so kids will pass tests - not so they will learn.  I know it would appear that if a kid has passed a test that s/he has learned.  But true learning is much more than input in-input out. 

After school programs who receive government funding must sustain a certain level of attendance that has nothing to do with what is actually happening with the kids.  Tutors are so driven by the numbers game they forget their own education on how children learn. 

True learning involves understanding and the ability to think critically - something politicians seem to have difficulty doing.  When will people truly care about the children and provide them the type of education they need? 

By Wanda Parker

Doesn’t that sound great?  NO MORE POVERTY. 

But is it really possible?  Jesus said that the poor would always be with us.

I don’t believe that poverty will ever be eliminated, but I believe that Christians have a responsibility to do the best we can to truly care for the poor.  By care I don’t mean giving them money or things.  By care I mean looking at what their real needs are and then on a one to one basis help them to solve those needs - it may be money but it is most likely so much more. 

That is why KidTrek is excited about the direction the Lord has taken us in the last year.

KIDTREK EQUIPS CHURCHES TO REACH
FAMILIES IN CRISIS.
KidTrek establishes youth programs in partnership with local
churches to serve the community.
Through modeling, training, and coaching KidTrek equips adults to
 build intentional, long-term relationships with families in crisis.
Our goal is to see at-risk kids become
Christ-changed, hope-filled, productive adults.

As missionaries model for a church how to serve the poor we believe that individuals in the church will want to become a part of this mission and will get involved - on a one-to-one basis.

We do not believe the government can make a difference in the lives of the poor!  Have they been able to do so so far?  I believe they have caused more damage than good with the welfare system.  Not that people didn’t want to do good - they just didn’t know how.  You can’t help people through a bureaucracy.  People are helped when other people get to know them and love them and discover what the real need is for that person, that family.

Each person, each family has a different need - mentally, socially, spiritually, emotionally, physically. 

I know it is so much easier to think that all we need to do is throw money at them.  When you get personally involved with the poor there is a huge cost and it gets messy.  But this is what Jesus Christ has called us to do.  “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Luke 10:25-37

True love means knowing a person and what the real needs are - not just superficial, make me feel good “love.”  Too much of what is done for the poor is to feed the ego of the giver not truly help the poor.

Would you like to join KidTrek in the walk to serve families in crisis?  If so click here to see how you can make a lasting difference.

By Wanda Parker

If you haven’t read Monday’s post on curriculum I suggest you scroll down and read it and then come back here.

As we teach children through Reality Experiences we move to a whole new level of teaching.  The kids become engaged in learning not only on an intellectual level but also on an emotional level.  The concept taught becomes real, concrete and the kids are able to internalize the concept.

COVER YOUR LESSON WITH PRAYER

             When you use a flannel graph you are in total control of the lesson.  You know pretty much exactly how things will happen.

             However, when teaching experientially, you are no longer in control of the flow of the lesson.  The Holy Spirit has control.  You know that if it is going to work, you must be totally dependent on the Lord.  It requires a great deal of prayer.

             The lessons mentioned have been done many times, but each time the children responded differently.  The adults had to rely on the Holy Spirit to direct them.

 DEBRIEF CHILDREN

             It is important to sit the children down after the lesson and debrief what they have experienced.  Use feeling words.  Get them to talk about what they felt and what they are feeling now.  Do they understand the consequence?  Do they understand there is always a consequence to all our choices and actions?  There are good consequences and there are bad consequences, but there is always a consequence to every decision, every action.

            The debriefing is vital!  The children must have the opportunity to talk through what they have experienced so that they gain the correct perspective.  Debriefing has been known to last for days as the children keep coming back to what they experienced.  The Secondary Nurturers lovingly talk with them and allow them to express what they are thinking and feeling.  In the process there is often pain and anger that rises to the surface from their life circumstances.  For the first time they are in a safe place where they can deal with their inner pain in an appropriate manner. 

 CONSEQUENCES

             For this teaching to be effective, it is important to follow through on the consequences. 

 Note:  Do not feel sorry for the children and give in!  One of the struggles we have today is that children aren’t being taught there are bad consequences in life.

                          If you have the spiritual gift of compassion, reality teaching may be difficult for you in the beginning.  However, experience has shown that as Secondary Nurturers see the results, they get excited about using REALITY LEARNING ACTIVITIES.

By Wanda Parker

• We learn best when we are totally involved in the learning process. 
• Children are concrete thinkers, all Christian concepts are abstract.

KidTrek curriculum includes what we call a Reality Check for each concept that is taught.  The Reality Check takes the abstract concept being taught and allows the kids to experience it so they internalize the concept and in doing so it becomes concrete to them.  The best way to describe a Reality Check is to give you an example.  The one below has been used often and it is always fun to see the kids reactions as they process.  

The lesson objective is: The kids will know that, because Adam and Eve sinned, all humans are separated from God and in need of His mercy.

The lesson subjective is: the beginning of a desire to receive God’s mercy.

A child exclaimed in the midst of the Bible story after having gone through this Reality Check, “We were just Adam and Eve and we all sinned!”

The display of the lesson is altered a little to fit here. I will give more explanation on Wednesday’s post

Reality Check

  MATERIALS:  Assorted foods (read below- your decision)         

• Begin the experience with a snack today
• If your teens normally eat snack with the rest of the kids, they can be part of this same experience.  Then separate them from the younger ones during the debriefing.
• The ideal would be to have some people of the church provide the following snack
  • Sandwich fixings
  • Salads - potato, green, macaroni, fruit
  • Chips - whatever your kids like the most
• Tell the kids that they can eat everything on the table except the chips
  • Make sure kids know that they cannot eat from the chips or there will be a consequence
• If they take even one chip, there will be a severe consequence
• Tell them as they enter not to begin until after everyone has prayed together
• Before praying, tell them that there is one important rule you want them to follow today
  • If they break the rule, the consequences will be great
  • They may eat anything on the table except this one dish
• Secondary nurturers might be in another room where they observe what is eaten
• Have an adult the kids don’t know, walk around the snack room trying to entice them to eat the forbidden food
• The “serpent” (the unknown adult) should look like someone they would respect.  Remember, the Bible tells us the enemy comes as an angel of light.  Satan was the most beautiful angel; he did not appear to Adam and Eve as an evil being
• While the “serpent,” the unknown adult, is enticing the kids, the secondary nurturers should be busy doing something else, seemingly unaware of what is happening.
• Use some of the enticements that Satan used - the secondary nurturers just want it for themselves; nothing is going to happen to you; they are just fooling you
• The “serpent” should be aware of which kids follow his/her lead to eat of the forbidden food
• When everyone is finished eating, have them gather in a circle on the floor
• The “serpent” should stay in character throughout the debriefing time
• Do not debrief until the beginning of Bible Focus/Bible 101
• The “serpent” meets individually with Secondary nurturers to let them know which kids s/he will falsely accuse
• Be sure the “serpent” and secondary nurturer agree on which kids are innocent and will be falsely accused
• Secondary Nurturers - For this Reality Check to work, you mus stick to your guns as God did with Adam and Eve. 
  • Make sure all the kids know there will be bad consequences to those who disobey and good consequences for those who obey..

DEBRIEFING

• Well, it is now time for the rewards to be given out.  Secondary nurturers, did any of your kids eat from the forbidden food?
  Secondary nurturers mention the kids who were enticed.  The ’serpent” mentions the kids s/he saw.  The “serpent” also accuses some innocent kids.  The secondary nurturer speaks up immediately and defends the innocent kids.  Be sure you know who is innocent and who is guilty.
• O.K. I would like everyone who ate the forbidden food to come stand by me.
  Once they are all up by the facilitator, you send them into another room with the “serpent”
• All who ate of the forbidden food must now go off with (name of individual playing the “serpent”) You who ate of the forbidden food will not receive the reward that everyone else will receive.  Everyone else is going to receive 100 KidTrek bucks.  When the store is open today, you do not get to go to the store.
  The “serpent” takes the kids to another room where they have to just sit for awhile.  It should be a boring, restless time; no talking, no interacting; just sitting.  The secondary nurturers give all the other kids 100 KidTrek Bucks each.  They open the store for immediate gratification.