Youth Development – Emotional Development

By Wanda Parker

 

KidTrek Training

July 14-22, 2009 and October 6-14, 2009

Click here for more information

 

I recently watched a football game between two rival teams of which one was highly favored to win.  In the first quarter, the unfavored team’s defense made some amazing plays.   One young player went wild after each successful play. 

 

My husband said, “That young man is apt to lose the game for this team.”

 

My thoughts were, “Why? He is just celebrating.”

 

“He doesn’t have control of his emotions.  That can mean disaster,” Joe said.

 

Sure enough with 40 seconds left to play and the favored team ahead by two points, the young man received two unsportsmanlike penalties – one on top of the other.  Basically his lack of control of his emotions in the midst of battle lost the game for his team.  Those penalties put his team outside of the realm of a field goal.

 

I couldn’t help but wonder what his childhood had been like. 

·         Did he have a loving adult when he was a child to walk through winning and losing with him and how to deal with the emotions that go with each? 

·         Does he have mature adults now in his life to help him critically think through the consequences of his actions in the heat of battle? 

·         This young man knew neither how to celebrate nor lose graciously. 

 

He did not need adults who would create a pseudo-world where he wouldn’t be able to learn how to handle emotions in the heat of battle, but adults who would have loved him enough to hurt with him while he discovered the truth that life is not easy – nor fair.

 

Competition provides a lab for real life living in which children learn and develop the skills to maneuver through the difficulties of life.  It requires adults guiding them.  In so doing, even if there are immature adults like at a soccer game who act inappropriately, the mature adults in his life can turn the situation around and use it as a teachable moment. 

 

To learn more of how to use competition in the development of children click here

Mother/Daughter Christmas Luncheon

by Wanda Parker

The room was decorated by the kids.  The tables were set – the fun was about to begin.

The food began to accumulate – it looked so good.

Oh that looks like we are only going to have dessert – I’m sure the daughters won’t mind.

The anticipation grows – and oh look there is more than desert.  Those Korean dumplings look great.

 

Everything tastes so good.  Even better was the sharing of favorite Christmas memories.  It was so great to hear the children speak of trimming the Christmas tree with their moms.  What happy memories.  The moms spoke of Christmases past and family still in their homeland.

Mothers and daughters worked together to name Christmas songs as they competed against the other mothers and daughters.

 What is a Christmas party without the gift passing unwrapping game?

Inside the final package unwrapped was a nice coffee cup.

The memories are so important so each one goes home with a Christmas ornament of their own creation.

Then everyone stayed and helped clean up!  A fun day, a day of building memories, a day of celebration - mothers and daughters together.

Youth Development and Apple Pie

By Wanda Parker

Immigrant children are third culture children.  As they try to assimilate into American culture their parents cling to the culture from which they just came.  Thus the children find themselves caught in a third culture – a mixture of their parents culture and the new American culture.  Where do they fit?

Learning how to make apple pie is one small piece of learning more of American culture.

In this next month there will be a mother/daughter luncheon where everyone will enjoy the blending of cultures as the mom’s bring their favorite dishes from their country.

Everyone learns from each other.

It is important for those working with immigrant children to give them tools to assimilate into American life and at the same time giving them pride in their heritage. 

Culture is never static – it is always changing.  Often immigrants cling to customs which no longer exist in their country of origin.  For instance: our family has celebrated Christmas with traditions my grandmother brought with her from Sweden.  Many of those traditions are no longer celebrated in Sweden.  My children, now grown, have no interest in continuing with those traditions.

Every culture has its good points – but there comes a time to move on, to change.   

As you work with immigrant children be sensitive to their parent’s culture – but also think of what each child needs to know and be able to do to be a success in America.